This Year's Target: Target
Dear Readers,
Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, we turn our full attention to Christmas. More specifically, we focus on the secular progressive jihad against those of us real Americans who desire to keep Christ in "Christmas." Armed with their bombs of "happy holidays" signs and greetings, these secular progressive jihadists will stop at nothing short of a fully, non-Christian season.
Dear readers, you can, of course, see the danger here. The United States is the greatest nation in the history of the universe, and we were founded on Christian principles. Want some proof? There are 10 Amendments in the Bill of Rights, and there are 10 Commandments. Our Constitution and our money say "God." The conclusion that we are a Christian nation is inescapable.
Last year, Wal-Mart foolishly joined the side of the secular progressive fatwa, and they really felt the economic crunch when my hero Bill O'Reilly directed his loyal audience of age 70+ retirees to boycott Wal-Mart. As previously reported right here by old Teddy, Wal-Mart is back in the Christ game this year, and they will beat you over the head with the baby Jesus from their life-size nativity scenes unless you recognize Christmas, too.
This year, it's time for Teddy's Troopers to focus on the seculofascists at Target. These Christ-haters hang snowflakes and trees with messages such as "Season's Greetings!" and "Happy Holidays!". Naturally, dear readers, we can't sit idly by. We must confront this atrocity head on, with boycotts and pickets, until we force Target to commercialize Christmas in the way God meant for it to be. You have your mission, dear readers; don't let me down.
Target, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, we turn our full attention to Christmas. More specifically, we focus on the secular progressive jihad against those of us real Americans who desire to keep Christ in "Christmas." Armed with their bombs of "happy holidays" signs and greetings, these secular progressive jihadists will stop at nothing short of a fully, non-Christian season.
Dear readers, you can, of course, see the danger here. The United States is the greatest nation in the history of the universe, and we were founded on Christian principles. Want some proof? There are 10 Amendments in the Bill of Rights, and there are 10 Commandments. Our Constitution and our money say "God." The conclusion that we are a Christian nation is inescapable.
Last year, Wal-Mart foolishly joined the side of the secular progressive fatwa, and they really felt the economic crunch when my hero Bill O'Reilly directed his loyal audience of age 70+ retirees to boycott Wal-Mart. As previously reported right here by old Teddy, Wal-Mart is back in the Christ game this year, and they will beat you over the head with the baby Jesus from their life-size nativity scenes unless you recognize Christmas, too.
This year, it's time for Teddy's Troopers to focus on the seculofascists at Target. These Christ-haters hang snowflakes and trees with messages such as "Season's Greetings!" and "Happy Holidays!". Naturally, dear readers, we can't sit idly by. We must confront this atrocity head on, with boycotts and pickets, until we force Target to commercialize Christmas in the way God meant for it to be. You have your mission, dear readers; don't let me down.
Target, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 9:01 PM
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