A Wonderful Time to be a Republican!
Dear Readers,
I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., thank you for your patience during a rather busy time for old Teddy. I'm back in action and more committed to you now than ever!
And what a great time it is to be a Republican! The resignation last Friday of Representative Mark Foley has shown how strong our party truly is. Rather than tolerate unethical behavior, we attack it as soon as we can - when the press is asking our party leaders why they hadn't done anything in the year that they knew about these improper activities. This prompt attention shows the truly highly ethical standards of our party, and this can only help us in the upcoming elections!
Now the west-coast, liberal elite, law mongerers like to point out that Foley was a co-chair of the Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus, and that a year of inaction by GOP leaders undermines the party's moral standing. More importantly, they point to Speaker Dennis Hastert's knowledge of the scandal and subsequent inactivity, and even like to point up such trivial things as Hastert touting on his website his work to combat child exploitation, which was promptly taken down this weekend. Leave it to the liberals to make a non-issue into a three-ring circus.
Moreover, the Communist News Network, betraying its liberal bias, is even running a story entitled: "Could Foley's Follies Hurt the GOP?" I mean, please! The only way they could be more liberal is to come out and say, like the other liberals, that this will hurt the GOP. By only questioning this, rather than explicitly stating it, they only give away they're true, inherent liberal hatred, that ever so common trait of libs. I'll give you a quick answer, CNN: No. This will help us cruise through November!
Republican party leaders, thank you for protecting the children - who are our future - and thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., thank you for your patience during a rather busy time for old Teddy. I'm back in action and more committed to you now than ever!
And what a great time it is to be a Republican! The resignation last Friday of Representative Mark Foley has shown how strong our party truly is. Rather than tolerate unethical behavior, we attack it as soon as we can - when the press is asking our party leaders why they hadn't done anything in the year that they knew about these improper activities. This prompt attention shows the truly highly ethical standards of our party, and this can only help us in the upcoming elections!
Now the west-coast, liberal elite, law mongerers like to point out that Foley was a co-chair of the Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus, and that a year of inaction by GOP leaders undermines the party's moral standing. More importantly, they point to Speaker Dennis Hastert's knowledge of the scandal and subsequent inactivity, and even like to point up such trivial things as Hastert touting on his website his work to combat child exploitation, which was promptly taken down this weekend. Leave it to the liberals to make a non-issue into a three-ring circus.
Moreover, the Communist News Network, betraying its liberal bias, is even running a story entitled: "Could Foley's Follies Hurt the GOP?" I mean, please! The only way they could be more liberal is to come out and say, like the other liberals, that this will hurt the GOP. By only questioning this, rather than explicitly stating it, they only give away they're true, inherent liberal hatred, that ever so common trait of libs. I'll give you a quick answer, CNN: No. This will help us cruise through November!
Republican party leaders, thank you for protecting the children - who are our future - and thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 6:56 PM
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