To Support, or Not to Support?

Dear Readers,

I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., am currently torn. On the one hand, I've always opposed the papists and their fake Christianity that serves Rome and not America. On the other, though, the Pope came out a few days ago and condemned the Islamofascists. What's a real American to do?

I suppose, in this one instance, it's best to support the Pope - on this issue only, of course. You see, dear readers, even though we're not actively chasing him anymore, Osama is the biggest threat we've faced since Hitler. The Pope isn't THAT bad.

So, for once, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., wish to support the Pope and to thank him for taking this stand. The violent response it has stirred up has further shown us who the real enemy is; after all, if what he said wasn't true, no one would have anything to be upset about, right? Even if he does hate America and Christianity, for once, way to go Pope.

Pope, in this instance, thank you for loving America!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.