Now They're Poisoning Our Food
Dear Readers,
As you are likely aware, an E. coli outbreak occurred this week. The culprit here was spinach sold by Natural Selection Foods, based in - you guessed it - California. They've already poisoned our airwaves and our newspapers. Now, the west-coast, liberal elite are poisoning our food.
Dear readers, you don't need me to tell you that dirty liberal hippies are responsible for this. Leave it to liberals without hygiene to spread their filth to our food. That's all the organic food movement is good for. It's the only way they can overcome the overwhelming conservative nature of our country. They can't win at the polls, so they're poisoning the food in our bowls.
California hippy organic farmers, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
As you are likely aware, an E. coli outbreak occurred this week. The culprit here was spinach sold by Natural Selection Foods, based in - you guessed it - California. They've already poisoned our airwaves and our newspapers. Now, the west-coast, liberal elite are poisoning our food.
Dear readers, you don't need me to tell you that dirty liberal hippies are responsible for this. Leave it to liberals without hygiene to spread their filth to our food. That's all the organic food movement is good for. It's the only way they can overcome the overwhelming conservative nature of our country. They can't win at the polls, so they're poisoning the food in our bowls.
California hippy organic farmers, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 6:47 PM
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