Thursdays with Theodore, episode 9/14/06
Dear Readers,
Welcome to this week's "Thursdays with Theodore!" Let's get straight to your questions.
Mark writes:
Dear Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.,
Thank you for providing the new "FeedBlitz" service for your site, allowing me to read your latest published material each morning when I wake up. This, in turn, prepares me for my day of fighting for the truth. And all I had to do was enter my email address, type in a verification tag, and click a verification link in an email I received to confirm my subscription! Could you have made this any easier for your readers?
-Mark S.
Mark, thank you for your kind words. If I had the time, I would call each and every one of my loyal followers and opine on the west-coast, liberal elite, but alas, there aren't enough hours in the day for me to give each reader the time he or she deserves. For now, this will have to serve.
Susan writes:
Dear Theodore,
Who are you endorsing for the November 7th elections?
-Susan F.
Susan, that's a great question. I should take this opportunity to announce my endorsement policy. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., do not voluntarily endorse any candidates, although I will urge voters to consider the most pro-American candidate and provide information on who that person is. If a candidate wants me to endorse them, they must first contact me before I'll consider this.
You see, dear readers, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., have a lot of political clout behind my name. I don't lightly lend this to anyone. To receive my endorsement, someone on the candidate's staff must contact me. If, upon hearing the candidate's platform, I decide to endorse the candidate, the campaign must provide travel, lodging, and dining fees for me to come and stump for the candidate. Then, and only then, can the candidate proclaim, "I'm endorsed by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.!"
What does it take for me to approve of one's platform? They must - MUST - support my program to stop the flow of illegal Uruguayan homosexuals over our Mexican border (hear that Randy Graf, Republican nominee in the Arizona 8th? Your anti-immigration platform is somewhat close to mine...you just need to make a slight leap to get my endorsement). And of course, they must support our divinely-inspired President.
As of now, I am not endorsing anyone. But I've seen a lot that I like in Mike Bouchard, Republican Senate nominee in Michigan. You can see a lot of his support for and from the President here:
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Welcome to this week's "Thursdays with Theodore!" Let's get straight to your questions.
Mark writes:
Dear Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.,
Thank you for providing the new "FeedBlitz" service for your site, allowing me to read your latest published material each morning when I wake up. This, in turn, prepares me for my day of fighting for the truth. And all I had to do was enter my email address, type in a verification tag, and click a verification link in an email I received to confirm my subscription! Could you have made this any easier for your readers?
-Mark S.
Mark, thank you for your kind words. If I had the time, I would call each and every one of my loyal followers and opine on the west-coast, liberal elite, but alas, there aren't enough hours in the day for me to give each reader the time he or she deserves. For now, this will have to serve.
Susan writes:
Dear Theodore,
Who are you endorsing for the November 7th elections?
-Susan F.
Susan, that's a great question. I should take this opportunity to announce my endorsement policy. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., do not voluntarily endorse any candidates, although I will urge voters to consider the most pro-American candidate and provide information on who that person is. If a candidate wants me to endorse them, they must first contact me before I'll consider this.
You see, dear readers, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., have a lot of political clout behind my name. I don't lightly lend this to anyone. To receive my endorsement, someone on the candidate's staff must contact me. If, upon hearing the candidate's platform, I decide to endorse the candidate, the campaign must provide travel, lodging, and dining fees for me to come and stump for the candidate. Then, and only then, can the candidate proclaim, "I'm endorsed by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.!"
What does it take for me to approve of one's platform? They must - MUST - support my program to stop the flow of illegal Uruguayan homosexuals over our Mexican border (hear that Randy Graf, Republican nominee in the Arizona 8th? Your anti-immigration platform is somewhat close to mine...you just need to make a slight leap to get my endorsement). And of course, they must support our divinely-inspired President.
As of now, I am not endorsing anyone. But I've seen a lot that I like in Mike Bouchard, Republican Senate nominee in Michigan. You can see a lot of his support for and from the President here:
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 8:24 PM
3 Comments:
Jack X apologizes for not submitting a question for this week. He was busy endorsing locals Jay Dardenne and Bobby Jindal.
Jack X, no worries. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., look forward to your question next week.
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
The long national nightmare will be over in 2008.
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