Sam's Army, Revisited
Dear Readers,
Yesterday, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., cheered on our country's soccer team, as they displayed enormous courage in a 1-1 draw against the papists. They did this despite playing one man down most of the second half. It was a tremendous showing, and more than redeemed themselves for the stinker earlier in the week.
As I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., mentioned, they played most of the second half down one man, thanks to terrible, biased, liberal officiating. It turns out that the referee was from Uruguay. Shocking, huh?
Dear readers, this is another reason why we need to increase our border security along the U.S.-Mexico border. This referee provides another example of people desiring to do whatever they can to attack our way of life. He did it from another continent, but billions more want to cross our border and attack our way of life, standing around like a bunch of liberals with their hands out. And I am enraged.
Now, the west-coast, liberal elite geographers want to tell me that Uruguay is in South America, not Mexico or even Central America. Folks, it's all the same. They're all trying to attack us and steal our resources. It's still just a short, easy walk for them to cross our borders.
Some people call the Minutemen "vigilantes." I call them "heroes." Thank you, Minutemen, for loving America!
Uruguayans scrambling to cross our border, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Yesterday, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., cheered on our country's soccer team, as they displayed enormous courage in a 1-1 draw against the papists. They did this despite playing one man down most of the second half. It was a tremendous showing, and more than redeemed themselves for the stinker earlier in the week.
As I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., mentioned, they played most of the second half down one man, thanks to terrible, biased, liberal officiating. It turns out that the referee was from Uruguay. Shocking, huh?
Dear readers, this is another reason why we need to increase our border security along the U.S.-Mexico border. This referee provides another example of people desiring to do whatever they can to attack our way of life. He did it from another continent, but billions more want to cross our border and attack our way of life, standing around like a bunch of liberals with their hands out. And I am enraged.
Now, the west-coast, liberal elite geographers want to tell me that Uruguay is in South America, not Mexico or even Central America. Folks, it's all the same. They're all trying to attack us and steal our resources. It's still just a short, easy walk for them to cross our borders.
Some people call the Minutemen "vigilantes." I call them "heroes." Thank you, Minutemen, for loving America!
Uruguayans scrambling to cross our border, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 2:41 PM
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