Celebrate Good Times, Dear Readers!

Dear Readers,

I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., have said it a million times: when Big Oil does well, we all do well! And guess what?!? Big Oil is doing well! Gas prices have hit a record high, so the stock market is taking off like rocket!

What does this mean for you, dear readers? First, you need to thank your lucky stars and pray for $4.00/gallon gas asap. Second, support Big Oil - drive some more. The more gas you buy, the more profits they make, and the more it trickles down to the poorest of the poor.

Now, the west-coast, liberal elite, free market-haters are up in arms. They claim that the poor can't afford this gas, and thus wouldn't be able to afford to drive back and forth to work. I say that's hogwash. They can make $7.25 an hour; paying half of that per gallon of gas still leaves them with over $3/hour for other necessities!

Raise your glasses high tonight for the patriots in charge of the oil companies!

Big oil, thank you for loving America!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

Thursdays with Theodore, Episode 4/5/07

Dear Readers,

Welcome to this week's episode of "Thursdays with Theodore!" To the mail bag!

Ivan writes:

Dear Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.,

What do you think about today's story that Ford, which lost almost $13 billion in 2006, paid its CEO $28 million, including bonuses, for just 4 months of work?

Ivan


Ivan, that's a great question. This is just the market at work. Clearly, the market valued this man's services at $28 million. Otherwise, there's no way that Ford would have paid him this much. The free market - it's as American as baseball and apple pie!

Free market, thank you for loving America!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.