Pray for Our Friends and Families

Dear Readers,

Please keep all of our friends and family along the Gulf Coast in your thoughts and prayers for the next few days. Please go ahead and donate to the Red Cross or similar relief organization of your choice.

God bless.

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

Mr. Chertoff, Raise that Level!!!

Dear Readers,

Oh, how times have changed. In 2004, at the time of the hate America-fest known as the "Democratic National Convention," then-Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge actually cared about protecting America and raised the threat level for a terrorist attack to coincide with the DNC. Dominating the news cycle, this action effectively neutralized John Kerry's post-Convention bounce. The rest is history.

This year, we're two days into the DNC, and Ridge's successor, Michael Chertoff, has failed to act thus far to protect the nation. Mr. Chertoff, we need you to protect us from Islamofasicsts and the Islamofascist-loving Democrats. Mr. Chertoff, raise that threat level in the name of freedom and democracy! U-S-A! U-S-A!!!

Mr. Chertoff, please protect all of us who love America!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

A Straight-Talkin' VP

Dear Readers,

Much ado is currently being made about the Presidential candidates' potential Vice President selections. As we all know, only President - I mean - Senator McCain's decision will matter. Who could he choose to bring in the conservative base? Who else is a straight shooter (well, when talking)?



-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.