'Tis the Season
Dear Readers,
It's that time of year again - time to fight to the death to keep "Christ" in "Christmas." Teddy's Troopers have been boycotting a number of businesses that support the secular progressive agenda to end all religion. And the list continues to grow. The updated list is as follows:
Target
Baton Rouge Metropolitan Airport
Best Buy
Dillard's
Indianapolis International Airport
JC Penney's
Memphis International Airport
Staples
Subway
Citgo (b/c of Chavez)
Troopers, get out there and boycott these heathens. Thank you for loving Jesus and America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
It's that time of year again - time to fight to the death to keep "Christ" in "Christmas." Teddy's Troopers have been boycotting a number of businesses that support the secular progressive agenda to end all religion. And the list continues to grow. The updated list is as follows:
Target
Baton Rouge Metropolitan Airport
Best Buy
Dillard's
Indianapolis International Airport
JC Penney's
Memphis International Airport
Staples
Subway
Citgo (b/c of Chavez)
Troopers, get out there and boycott these heathens. Thank you for loving Jesus and America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 7:44 PM
15 Comments:
Hey, Ted, did you see that "American Dad" episode last Sunday night? Funny as hell...the storekeeper kept saying "Happy Holidays" after Stan kept saying "Merry Christmas" such that he was thrown out of the store and wanted to go back to the 1970s to kill Jane Fonda. Sheer greatness! I hope you got to see it.
Dear Ted,
As a Jew, I guess I'm a little confused about the whole "Xmas" scandal. I guess it's because, given my religion, I'm used to being surrounded by people with little or no understanding or respect for my faith.
It would seem that the most important thing you could do is honor Jesus in your own way. Whether or not other people hold him in the same esteem as you shouldn't have any baring on you. Besides, if you feel descriminated against, all you have to do is look to statistics. You Carpenter-Worshipers are firmly in the majority, to the point where large portions of the country have never met a Jew and think that all Muslims are terrorists.
Maybe they're just being lazy, not sacrilegious.
Merry Xmas from your lazy (but respectful) Jewish friend,
-Ehren
Jack X,
I missed it, but that sounds about right. Plus, there's no way that could be seen as satire of the ridiculousness of extreme conservatives! Kudos to those writers and animaters, and thanks to them for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Ehren,
Thank you for the message. Please understand that I have no problem with your faith. My problem is that this was founded as a Christian nation, nevermind the Founders who weren't Christian or that whole pesky Establishment Clause thing. Unfortunately, the secular progressive movement is trying to cut the "Christ" out of "Christmas." How? They just are!
As a Christian nation, the Bible commands us to celebrate Christmas. If retailers refuse to recognize this, then they're un-American, hate-America-first, west-coast, liberal elites.
Now, if a business is explicitly Jewish or Muslim, then they should not be compelled to celebrate Christmas. But if it does not denounce a Christian affiliation, then they'd better greet customers with a "Merry Christmas." Otherwise, real Americans will boycott these businesses. And clearly, there's nothing ridiculous at all about this, right?
Happy Chanukah to you, Ehren, and Merry Christmas to all of the Christian Teddy's Troopers!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
I just have a pet peeve with people calling typical objects associated with Christmas "holiday" stuff, like "holiday tree" as opposed to Christmas tree. If you want to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Hanuakah" or whatever, don't stand in front of a Christmas tree and Santa Claus. If you're doing a "Christmas-themed" show complete with decorations and all, don't cap off by saying "Happy Holidays." Likewise, if you do a show featuring a dreidel and menorach, say "Happy Hanuakah," a show in front of African drums and candles, "Happy Kwanzaa," etc.
As for Seasons Greetings--that is a very lame and generic greeting. Theoretically, you can use it at anytime of the year--spring, summer, fall, winter, etc. We don't need it.
Personally, if you want to say Happy Holidays, fine, but don't do it behind thousands of Christmas decorations. And, too, and I mean it: DO NOT CHANGE LYRICS ON CHRISTMAS SONGS by TAKING CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS AND REPLACING IT WITH POLITICALLY CORRECT CRAP!!!!! People who do that should be sued for copyright infringement.
There, I am done. Later, I'll bash Bush and his recent Iraq strategies. Stubborn old mule, I'll say! End with a "hate America" quote, I'll send the Grinch over to your abode!
It makes me nervous when I begin hearing statements like "This is a Christian Nation."
It's a Christian Nation, A Jewish Nation, a Hindu Nation, a Muslim Nation, and A Buddhist Nation. The interpretations of the founding fathers aside, things change (remember slavery, witch burning and the Walk of Tears?).
Once we begin saying that one religion is more important than another, you begin to undermine what the U.S. has stood for since the Statue of Liberty declared "“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."
However, that's a separate issue from the whole "Xmas" thing. If you feel that a single letter is so damaging to your faith, I urge you take a deep breath, relax and repeat to yourself, "Wait a minute--I'm white!” I know you guys don’t have a lot of experience being oppressed, so I’ll be sure to alert you when and if it actually happens.
My Christmas wish for you is that you never encounter discrimination worse than this.
-Ehren
by the way, I have to give "The Price is Right" for keeping with Christmas themed show all these years. The good Bob Barker still says "Merry Christmas" and not "Happy Holidays." Of course, he still uses the phrase "let's get it on" all the time, but that's another story. There was a heartbreaking loss on the show today--college student blew the Three Strikes game at the very end and lost a Cadillac.
Ehren,
I respect you and your opinions, and I will wish you a Happy Chanukah, both to you and your family!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Jack X,
Dead on. Trying to be respectful of people of other faiths - how lame can the secular progressives be? I don't think the Bible would be very approving of tolerance, now, would it? Especially the New Testament, where could one possibly find anything about tolerance in there?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Ted,
As a non-Christian I would like to support your desire to bring the 'Christ' back into Christmas, but would like to go one small step further. I fully think that we should have solid, valued Christian traditions brought back into the celebration of this holiday. With that in mind all true Christians should rid themselves of their pagan Christmas trees and the lights upon them. This Yule tradition first became Christian "when the Roman Empire was converted enmasse to christianity, many cultures did not give up their pagan ideals and traditions and so they were incorporated into the Christmas tradition" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_tree)
It's a small point, but a crucial one that any true Christian would follow.
Just my opinion,
Happy Yule!
Rob
adiamas,
Thank you for your comment. I believe you have failed to see the bigger picture (notice I've avoided a pun like "failed to see the forest from the trees"). The trees don't have a religious meaning, as they are used throughout society. Most importantly, Christians don't worship Christmas trees, nor are the trees in any way a centerpiece of the Christmas season.
We gather around and focus our spirituality on the life-sized creches that should permeate our society, not Christmas trees.
Why do you hate Christianity, and, by extension, America?
In the spirit of the season, though, Merry Christmas to you and yours!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Gary,
I actually already did email you.
As to your first point: even the west-coast, liberal elite, activist Justices of the Supreme Court have recognized that certain symbols have come to be seen as little more than "ceremonial deism." As I mentioned in my response to him, I could care less about Christmas trees, and if it floats his boat for us to not use them any longer, that's fine with me. My family and I celebrate the season around a life-sized creche, and I wish that we could find these nativity scenes (rather than Christmas trees) throughout society during the Christmas season, to drive home the point of the season. We focus on the creche; whether a Christmas tree is present or not doesn't matter at all to Old Teddy. My response was consistent with his question, despite your implications.
Secondly, my closing had nothing to do with his status as a non-Christian or not. (Thank you for the vocabulary lesson, though; you may be able to assist robert after his comment!) Look, the Founders established a Christian nation. Look at their writings. In their world, freedom of worship meant freedom to practice a Christian religion. I'm not saying it's right or not, as that's a different debate. Keep in mind that the Founders were not representative of modern society, or even necessarily of their own society. They were rich, white, Christian men. Therefore, women and minorities were a bit short-changed by the Constitution. Constitutional amendments have taken care of these, though. If we're going to look at the Founders, and what they wrote, they advocated a nation built on Christian values, where one could freely worship as Christians; for them, at that time, extending this to other faiths did not figure in to the debate.
Also, keep in mind, Christianity isn't in itself a religion. Instead, it includes numerous faiths. It's a bit inaccurate for you to describe it as only one religion.
Now, I personally want to see freedom of worship extended to other faiths. I have no problem with that. But if we're going to operate under a democracy theory of the Consitution, or even a Mills-esque truth theory, Christianity is the majority religion, and we shouldn't be punished simply because of that status. The War on Christmas is decidedly counter-majoritarian, and that's why we fight.
Happy Chanukah to you and yours, Gary.
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
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