Thursdays with Theodore, episode 8/10/06

Dear Readers,

I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., had quite an experience as an air traveler today. Luckily, our government kept us safe, as we're fighting them there so we don't have to fight them here. Now, the west-coast, liberal elite point to today's events to show that the Bush policy has failed miserably, because this event could have meant us having to fight them here. I say hogwash, but I'll discuss this more tomorrow.

On to your questions.

Willington writes:

Hey Teddy

Should Cynthia McKinney run as an independent candidate to keep her seat?

-Franklin Willington

Absolutely not, Willington. Lieberman cares about our national security. He wants to fight them there so we don't have to fight them here. He needs to win, and his campaign is noble. McKinney is just crazy, and thank goodness we're rid of her. The west-coast, liberal elite political scientists argue that her successor is more liberal than her, but I'm not buying it.


Jack X writes:

Do you think Ned Lamont's victory emboldened the terrorists?

Jack X

Without a doubt. Does it not make perfect sense that this is the logical result of an anti-Iraq war candidate winning? These events are not about any failure of our divinely-inspired President's foreign policy or defense strategy; it's the fault of a primary winner in Connecticut for one Senate seat.

Now, the west-coast, liberal elite chronology experts will point out that this plot was uncovered well in advance of Lamont's victory. As you all will realize, of course, that's ridiculous. The only logical explanation is that this one election emboldened them, even if they began their plotting well in advance. Ned Lamont, have you no shame?

Dear readers, thank you for loving America!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.