Saturday, August 05, 2006

A Master of Oratory

Dear Readers,

Just two days ago, before a Senate committee, one of my personal heroes, Donald Rumsfeld, showed why he is a magician with words. Taking on all comers, especially that commie Hillary Clinton, Rummy displayed a command of the English language that can only accurately be called "magical." Despite two high-ranking military officials mentioning that Iraq could be close to civil war, Rummy, naturally much more knowledgeable of the military, refused to give in on this point! It was all I could do to contain my excitement.

More impressively, facing Clinton's attack, Rummy came out punching, diminishing her words by starting his retort with a very condescending "my goodness." How clever can one man be? He effectively attacked the credibility of her whole attack with two words. It brought a tear to old Teddy's eye.

Now, the west-coast, liberal elite word mongerers like to point out that Rummy uses many words to effectively say nothing. Further, they like to point out that he lied when he said he's never painted an optimistic picture of things in Iraq, since a simple Internet search could show otherwise. Folks, this is just another example of the liberal media trying to take this man down, since they can't do it otherwise. This man, who is the right hand man of our divinely-inspired leader, is simply working to spread freedom and to fight them there so we don't have to fight them here. He deserves better.

Donald Rumsfeld, thank you for loving America!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if I ever told you this, but Hillary Clinton is a bi-yatch. The only reason why she still has the Clinton name is to be a power hungry bitch, like Martha Stewart and others. Her marriage is one of a business partnership in order to get more and more powerful. If there is one person running any part of this country that needs to be stopped, it's none other than Hillary Rodham-Clinton.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. said...

Couldn't agree more. Who knows more about the Clintons' marriage than those of us on the outside? And you're dead-on - any woman who desires power is a super, mega bi-yatch (except Condi, of course). Who the hell ever told them they could leave the kitchen?

She is way more dangerous than any of the architects of the Iraq "success"mire (my spin on those who want to call it a quagmire).

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, Condolezza Rice is one of my heroes. Also, I think Condolezza is a pretty name--in fact, I may name my firstborn daughter Condolezza and my firstborn son Arpeggio. Don't forget, Condi Rice is a talented piano player. We need more ambidextrous people leading this country. John Ashcroft was a good singer--so what if his dead opponent beat him in Missouri. Let the eagle soar!

Don't forget about Elaine Chao, secretary of labor. She's also good. But...Janet Reno...gosh, so...unattractive. But, according to John McCain or someone like that (maybe it was Rush Limbaugh--anyway, some Republican said it), Reno is Chelsea Clinton's biological father, he he he.

10:21 PM  
Blogger Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. said...

Yep - Condi = not a bitch; Hillary = mega-bitch. Both lust for power, but Condi is a Republican, therefore, she loves America.

And with Janet Reno, you're spot on again - what better way to judge a female politician than by their appearance?

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

11:28 PM  

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