Thursdays with Theodore, episode 7/6/06
Dear Readers,
Welcome to this week's episode of "Thursdays with Theodore!" Unlike Willington, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., always respond to your inquiries in the afternoon so you have plenty of time to read and consider my thoughts, and to shape your lives appropriately in response.
Without further delay, let's get to the mail!
Franklin Willington writes:
What do you think my thoughts are? It's just another example of your hatred for America, like the other commies.
Jack X writes:
Dear Theodore Trumblebunks,
Jack X also writes:
Number one: if you could pick out ten symbols that are considred extremely American (like Apple Pie, Superman, and Baseball), what would you pick?
A cross, the Bible, the Ten Commandments, a bust of George W. Bush, a bronze of Ronald Reagan, Senator Joseph McCarthy, Ann Coulter, a Toby Keith cd, NASCAR, and, last but not least, the old Stars and Stripes!
Number two: Why do people think "Date Movie" is such a bad movie? I personally found it funny; however, I couldn't watch the entire film because I, as usual, received a defective DVD from Blockbuster.
Easy: because Hollywood is dominated by the west-coast, liberal elite in "la-la land."
Number three: Speaking on that level, I have noticed that Fox has really upped their annoying preview and commercial quotas on their DVDs by including a rather annoying anti-piracy commercial (one that says "you wouldn't steal a car," "you wouldn't steal a handbag," etc.). What is the point of it, especially when the people who would most likely see the commercial are ones who either purchased or rented the movie legally and fairly? Wouldn't the ad have an adverse effect, such that there would be more "piracy" done out of spite? Also, I find it annoying how on Fox and certain other DVDs, you can't skip certain things, like the FBI warning and certain previews.
Simple: because we're a nation of laws, and we lock up criminals. There is no crime as violent or as threatening to our way of life as this kind of piracy. We can't let these criminals undermine our security and the free market. We need to be tough on crime. Any ideas of rehabilitation are ridiculous!
Dear readers, until next time, as always, thank you for your questions! And thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Welcome to this week's episode of "Thursdays with Theodore!" Unlike Willington, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., always respond to your inquiries in the afternoon so you have plenty of time to read and consider my thoughts, and to shape your lives appropriately in response.
Without further delay, let's get to the mail!
Franklin Willington writes:
What are your thoughts on Franklin Willington's "War on Freedom Bandz"?
Franklin WillingtonWhat do you think my thoughts are? It's just another example of your hatred for America, like the other commies.
Jack X writes:
Dear Theodore Trumblebunks,
What is your opinion on NJ Governor Jon Corzine and his recent reactions and shutdowns in that state?
Sincerely,
Jack X
Jack X also writes:
Number one: if you could pick out ten symbols that are considred extremely American (like Apple Pie, Superman, and Baseball), what would you pick?
A cross, the Bible, the Ten Commandments, a bust of George W. Bush, a bronze of Ronald Reagan, Senator Joseph McCarthy, Ann Coulter, a Toby Keith cd, NASCAR, and, last but not least, the old Stars and Stripes!
Number two: Why do people think "Date Movie" is such a bad movie? I personally found it funny; however, I couldn't watch the entire film because I, as usual, received a defective DVD from Blockbuster.
Easy: because Hollywood is dominated by the west-coast, liberal elite in "la-la land."
Number three: Speaking on that level, I have noticed that Fox has really upped their annoying preview and commercial quotas on their DVDs by including a rather annoying anti-piracy commercial (one that says "you wouldn't steal a car," "you wouldn't steal a handbag," etc.). What is the point of it, especially when the people who would most likely see the commercial are ones who either purchased or rented the movie legally and fairly? Wouldn't the ad have an adverse effect, such that there would be more "piracy" done out of spite? Also, I find it annoying how on Fox and certain other DVDs, you can't skip certain things, like the FBI warning and certain previews.
Simple: because we're a nation of laws, and we lock up criminals. There is no crime as violent or as threatening to our way of life as this kind of piracy. We can't let these criminals undermine our security and the free market. We need to be tough on crime. Any ideas of rehabilitation are ridiculous!
Dear readers, until next time, as always, thank you for your questions! And thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 6:06 PM
2 Comments:
A few comments on your “top ten”:
The Cross – the image of the cross, as we know it today, was actually the creation of Renaissance artists in Italy, so it's a fake.
The Bible – was not written, or even first printed, by Americans.
The Ten Commandments – really based on the Egyptian Book of the Dead (i.e. plagiarized)
Bust of Bush – an East coast elite pretending to be a cowboy . . . real American pretending to be something you’re not.
Bronze of Reagan – SOLD ARMS TO TERRORISTS!!!
McCarthy – did everything in his power to destroy the freedom of expression.
Ann Coulter – accused 9/11 widows of enjoying their husbands’ deaths and has falsified federal documents (lied on her drivers license application).
Toby Keith cd – the cds are made in China.
NASCAR – was originally invented by bootleggers and lightening runners during Prohibition to break the law.
The Flag – OK, this one I’ll give you as it is a symbol of all the freedoms we enjoy.
Leave it to some west-coast, liberal elite, revisionist historian to discount the fact that we're a nation founded on Christianity, not to mention that you diminished our national heroes! Let me guess, that's what some liberal professor taught you, and what you, as some liberal professor, would try to pass on. The cycle of liberal lies continues.
How dare you call W a hypocrite! He's good folk. People can relate to him. Why do you hate Bush?
More importantly, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
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