The New York Times (a.k.a., The Commie Post)
Dear Readers,
My anger over the Supreme Court's holding in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld has subsided slightly, so I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., can now turn my attention to another terrorist-loving organization, the New York Times. Folks, you don't need Old Teddy to tell you that the mainstream media is mind-bogglingly liberal. You also don't need me to tell you that the New York Times is the leader of this west-coast, liberal elite pack! But recent actions by the Times implicates them in treason, and that is something that I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., simply will not stand for.
Recently, the New York Times decided to run a story, despite the Administration's objections, exposing the government's bank surveillance program. That's right. We're engaged in a War on Terror, and this newspaper has the audacity to give away information on one of our means of fighting this war. Dear readers, that's treason not just in my book, but in that of my hero, Ann Coulter.
Now, the west-coast, liberal elite want to tell me that any rational person would have known that the government was doing this and that this news could in no way disclose something new. These terror-coddlers, as you might imagine, don't want to see us win this war. They would prefer that we fight them here over fighting them there. I say prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. Burn the witches!
Further - get this, dear readers - the west-coast, liberal elite coincidence-mongers want to point out that the Bush Administration's glorious arrest of the terrorists in Miami occurred the same day, and they contend that this was an attempt to divert attention from the NYT story. Look, if our divinely-inspired President is anything, he's a straight-shooter, and this Administration would never try to create a diversion. The people they arrested were terrorists. Never mind that they weren't linked to any terror organization, had no means of carrying out their plans, and the attack on the Sears Tower was overblown hyperbole. What's important here is that the surveillance program worked, and we caught terrorists before they could attack us. Have you forgotten 9-11?
Finally, the west-coast, liberal elite, freedom-of-the-press huggers want to argue that we need investigative journalism and that the press has become nothing more than a mouthpiece of this Administration. Let me dismiss this quickly for you: the media is liberal, so this is a ridiculous charge.
New York Times, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
My anger over the Supreme Court's holding in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld has subsided slightly, so I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., can now turn my attention to another terrorist-loving organization, the New York Times. Folks, you don't need Old Teddy to tell you that the mainstream media is mind-bogglingly liberal. You also don't need me to tell you that the New York Times is the leader of this west-coast, liberal elite pack! But recent actions by the Times implicates them in treason, and that is something that I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., simply will not stand for.
Recently, the New York Times decided to run a story, despite the Administration's objections, exposing the government's bank surveillance program. That's right. We're engaged in a War on Terror, and this newspaper has the audacity to give away information on one of our means of fighting this war. Dear readers, that's treason not just in my book, but in that of my hero, Ann Coulter.
Now, the west-coast, liberal elite want to tell me that any rational person would have known that the government was doing this and that this news could in no way disclose something new. These terror-coddlers, as you might imagine, don't want to see us win this war. They would prefer that we fight them here over fighting them there. I say prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. Burn the witches!
Further - get this, dear readers - the west-coast, liberal elite coincidence-mongers want to point out that the Bush Administration's glorious arrest of the terrorists in Miami occurred the same day, and they contend that this was an attempt to divert attention from the NYT story. Look, if our divinely-inspired President is anything, he's a straight-shooter, and this Administration would never try to create a diversion. The people they arrested were terrorists. Never mind that they weren't linked to any terror organization, had no means of carrying out their plans, and the attack on the Sears Tower was overblown hyperbole. What's important here is that the surveillance program worked, and we caught terrorists before they could attack us. Have you forgotten 9-11?
Finally, the west-coast, liberal elite, freedom-of-the-press huggers want to argue that we need investigative journalism and that the press has become nothing more than a mouthpiece of this Administration. Let me dismiss this quickly for you: the media is liberal, so this is a ridiculous charge.
New York Times, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 6:22 PM
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