A Real American
Dear Readers,
I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., wish to defend a real American hero who has recently come under attack. J. Dennis Hastert, our heroic and virtuous Speaker of the House, has taken quite a bashing from the liberal media in the last few days. Long story short, land that Hastert and a group of co-owners had purchased for a minimal price was sold for a $2 million profit; shortly thereafter, a road project was pushed through Congress to build a freeway close to this land, which would increase the value substantially. In effect, the purchaser would be able to recoup his losses.
As you can imagine, the whining, west-coast, liberal elites are now beside themselves. These ethics-rule-hugging sandal floppers want to say that this is improper behavior. They point to a similar deal worked out last year by two southern California Republicans and say this somehow furthers the charge of Republicans as being a "culture of corruption." And I am outraged.
Dear readers, these Congressmen are simply participating in the free market. Making a purchase and selling for more later is part of the American dream. If someone has to use their position of power to sweeten the deal, so be it! They won election, so they've earned the right to do this. The American people have spoken by electing these officials, yet the west-coast, liberal elite want to ignore our democratic system. These liberals want some socialism and communism thrown in to restrict our markets. Obviously, you can see the threat we face.
This is why we must destroy the Godless, illegal-immigration-loving, west-coast, liberal elite. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., pledge to you, my dear and loyal readers, that I will not rest until I have succeeded.
Ethics rules lovers, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., wish to defend a real American hero who has recently come under attack. J. Dennis Hastert, our heroic and virtuous Speaker of the House, has taken quite a bashing from the liberal media in the last few days. Long story short, land that Hastert and a group of co-owners had purchased for a minimal price was sold for a $2 million profit; shortly thereafter, a road project was pushed through Congress to build a freeway close to this land, which would increase the value substantially. In effect, the purchaser would be able to recoup his losses.
As you can imagine, the whining, west-coast, liberal elites are now beside themselves. These ethics-rule-hugging sandal floppers want to say that this is improper behavior. They point to a similar deal worked out last year by two southern California Republicans and say this somehow furthers the charge of Republicans as being a "culture of corruption." And I am outraged.
Dear readers, these Congressmen are simply participating in the free market. Making a purchase and selling for more later is part of the American dream. If someone has to use their position of power to sweeten the deal, so be it! They won election, so they've earned the right to do this. The American people have spoken by electing these officials, yet the west-coast, liberal elite want to ignore our democratic system. These liberals want some socialism and communism thrown in to restrict our markets. Obviously, you can see the threat we face.
This is why we must destroy the Godless, illegal-immigration-loving, west-coast, liberal elite. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., pledge to you, my dear and loyal readers, that I will not rest until I have succeeded.
Ethics rules lovers, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 5:10 PM
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