An Eye-Opening Trip, Part III
Dear Readers,
Today, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., would like to conclude my tale of my startling trip to the Field Museum. I've previously discussed liberal lies they've spread about the age of the earth and evolution. Today, I wish to address the greatest villain in history: Charles Darwin.
As you and I know, Darwin invented evolution. Now, I've had west-coast, liberal elite anthropologists tell me that evolution pre-dated Darwin, and that the word "evolution" does not appear in Origin of Species until the last paragraph. Naturally, however, old Teddy isn't falling for it, and I won't allow my dear and loyal readers to be led astray.
Folks, the west-coast, liberal elite venerate Darwin the same way real Americans venerate Jesus, which is understandable since liberals and scientists are all Godless. For these liberals, Darwin is as big of a hero as Lenin or Stalin. These stupid liberals even have dolls of this clown that they play with and indoctrinate their children (who are our future, by the way, as frightening as that is) with:
This guy, however, came up with the theory that we come from monkeys by looking at birds and turtles! I don't know about you, but what a finch's beak has to do with my life is beyond me. Yet this is the evidence for Darwin's evolution!
There is one simple answer for the variation among animals: God made them that way. Yet Darwin sat in his room, imagined that he sailed across an ocean on a beagle to look at animals, and then wrote a book to get rich and brainwash mindless liberals. And they've bought it, hand over fist. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., would like to know, if I came from a monkey, where's my tail?
Darwinian liberals, why do you hate America and God?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Today, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., would like to conclude my tale of my startling trip to the Field Museum. I've previously discussed liberal lies they've spread about the age of the earth and evolution. Today, I wish to address the greatest villain in history: Charles Darwin.
As you and I know, Darwin invented evolution. Now, I've had west-coast, liberal elite anthropologists tell me that evolution pre-dated Darwin, and that the word "evolution" does not appear in Origin of Species until the last paragraph. Naturally, however, old Teddy isn't falling for it, and I won't allow my dear and loyal readers to be led astray.
Folks, the west-coast, liberal elite venerate Darwin the same way real Americans venerate Jesus, which is understandable since liberals and scientists are all Godless. For these liberals, Darwin is as big of a hero as Lenin or Stalin. These stupid liberals even have dolls of this clown that they play with and indoctrinate their children (who are our future, by the way, as frightening as that is) with:
This guy, however, came up with the theory that we come from monkeys by looking at birds and turtles! I don't know about you, but what a finch's beak has to do with my life is beyond me. Yet this is the evidence for Darwin's evolution!
There is one simple answer for the variation among animals: God made them that way. Yet Darwin sat in his room, imagined that he sailed across an ocean on a beagle to look at animals, and then wrote a book to get rich and brainwash mindless liberals. And they've bought it, hand over fist. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., would like to know, if I came from a monkey, where's my tail?
Darwinian liberals, why do you hate America and God?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 5:19 PM
4 Comments:
Ted, do you believe that the earth was made in six days?
Of course. Who doesn't? But that doesn't mean God's days are the same length as ours.
Why wouldn't they be Ted? Are you saying the bible can't be taken literally?
Sure it can be taken literally. But you blaspheme if you pretend you know what a day means to God.
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