Thursdays with Theodore, Episode 4/12/07

Dear Readers,

Welcome to this week's "Thursdays with Theodore!" To the mail bag!

D. writes:

Dear Theodore,

Can you find me some work?

~D. Imus

Mr. Imus, I'm not sure what your line of work is. Could you fill me in a little more? I hear that our divinely-inspired President is looking for a War Czar. Are you a patriot? Do you love America? Would you rather fight them there than fight them here? If so, contact W - he's looking for you!

Are you a social conservative, by any chance? That would score you some big points if you were . . .

Dear readers, thank you for loving America!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.