Thursdays with Theodore, episode 11/2/06
Dear Readers,
Welcome to this week's pre-election episode of "Thursdays with Theodore!" So as not to needlessly waste any of your time, let's get to those questions.
Jack X writes:
What do you think of John Kerry's remarks about Iraq that he made earlier this week?
Jack X, a youtube celebrity
Jack X, naturally, I think there's no way it was a joke, even though, in context, it was sandwiched between a series of jokes. Also, like one of my heroes, Tony Snow, said: "Where would the 'us' go?" Really, where? I mean, was it supposed to be "us get stuck in Iraq?" Or "get stuck us in Iraq?" Or "get stuck in us Iraq?" That explanation just doesn't make sense - where would you put it?
That decorated veteran, renowned for fighting for benefits and rights for our troops and veterans, is just another member of the west-coast, liberal elite, troop-hatin', liberals.
Cathy writes:
Dear Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.,
Do you foresee the Democrats taking control of one or both Houses?
~Cathy
Cathy, great question. Lots of the west-coast, liberal elite pundits have been bloviating about a Democratic pickup of at least the House. Ain't gonna happen. Our permanent majority is here to stay. The voters are smart, and even if they aren't this time around, the Diebold machines will make sure we retain power.
Jeff writes:
Dear Teddy Trumblebunks,
What can we do to make sure the Republicans maintain both our Congressional majority and our moral majority?
Thanks.
Jeff
Jeff, that's easy. In order to maintain our moral authority, we need to beat the Democrats on a level playing field. Usually, our get out the vote efforts are much stronger and better organized. Therefore, so the libs won't whine after we beat them down, we need to help with their get out the vote campaigns.
Volunteer for your local Democratic candidates over the next few days. Once we beat them on a level playing field, they'll have to accept that we'll always win and they'll always lose. Our majority is permanent.
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Welcome to this week's pre-election episode of "Thursdays with Theodore!" So as not to needlessly waste any of your time, let's get to those questions.
Jack X writes:
What do you think of John Kerry's remarks about Iraq that he made earlier this week?
Jack X, a youtube celebrity
Jack X, naturally, I think there's no way it was a joke, even though, in context, it was sandwiched between a series of jokes. Also, like one of my heroes, Tony Snow, said: "Where would the 'us' go?" Really, where? I mean, was it supposed to be "us get stuck in Iraq?" Or "get stuck us in Iraq?" Or "get stuck in us Iraq?" That explanation just doesn't make sense - where would you put it?
That decorated veteran, renowned for fighting for benefits and rights for our troops and veterans, is just another member of the west-coast, liberal elite, troop-hatin', liberals.
Cathy writes:
Dear Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.,
Do you foresee the Democrats taking control of one or both Houses?
~Cathy
Cathy, great question. Lots of the west-coast, liberal elite pundits have been bloviating about a Democratic pickup of at least the House. Ain't gonna happen. Our permanent majority is here to stay. The voters are smart, and even if they aren't this time around, the Diebold machines will make sure we retain power.
Jeff writes:
Dear Teddy Trumblebunks,
What can we do to make sure the Republicans maintain both our Congressional majority and our moral majority?
Thanks.
Jeff
Jeff, that's easy. In order to maintain our moral authority, we need to beat the Democrats on a level playing field. Usually, our get out the vote efforts are much stronger and better organized. Therefore, so the libs won't whine after we beat them down, we need to help with their get out the vote campaigns.
Volunteer for your local Democratic candidates over the next few days. Once we beat them on a level playing field, they'll have to accept that we'll always win and they'll always lose. Our majority is permanent.
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 11:16 PM
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