Thursdays with Theodore, episode 8/17/06
Dear Readers,
Welcome to another exciting and informative edition of "Thursdays with Theodore!" I have a great question to answer this week, so I don't want to waste any time getting to it.
Jack X writes:
Dear Ted,
Blanco would have to be played by Roseanne Barr. Only she could portray Blanco's general west-coast, liberal elite incompetence, and like Blanco, she's a fat, ugly airhead.
Brownie would be played by Steve Buscemi. There's certainly a resemblance, and again, he could show Brownie's incompetence and craziness. Perfect match.
Nagin would be played well by Dave Chappelle. Both are racist, and both have to be smoking something.
Aaron Broussard could best be portrayed by Jon Favreau. Both are chunky, and I'm sure Favs can fake some tears, too.
Mary Landrieu would be played by Paris Hilton - both are dumb, west-coast, liberal elite bimbos. They really couldn't be more compatible.
Haley Barbour would be portrayed by Brian Dennehy. Similar appearance, and I'm hoping Dennehy could act like he was a real American (a conservative) and not just another member of the west-coast, liberal elite.
David Vitter would be played by Arnold Schwarzenegger - bold, brave, and conservative. Both are also Republican politicians. Perfect match.
The evacuees should be played by the DSCC, DCCC, and the America-haters at democraticunderground.com. What do all of these people have in common? They hate America and always sit around with their hands out.
And, to throw an extra one in - General Honore would be played by Will Smith, and he'd have some ass-kicking theme when he comes in.
The main theme song would be written and performed by Toby Keith, and would discuss boots up asses; star-spangled boots, at that.
Jack, as always, thank you for your question. I really enjoyed this one, and I hope you enjoy the answers.
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Welcome to another exciting and informative edition of "Thursdays with Theodore!" I have a great question to answer this week, so I don't want to waste any time getting to it.
Jack X writes:
Dear Ted,
Let's say Hollywood decides to make a movie about Hurricane Katrina--the storm, the political humps associated with it, etc. Which actors do you think should play George W. Bush, Kathleen Blanco, Michael Brown, Ray Nagin, and other people associated with the storm (such as evacuees, Aaron Broussard, Mary Landrieu, David Vitter, Haley Barbour, etc.) and why?
I hope that question is interesting for you and you enjoy answering it.
Sincerely,
Jack X
Blanco would have to be played by Roseanne Barr. Only she could portray Blanco's general west-coast, liberal elite incompetence, and like Blanco, she's a fat, ugly airhead.
Brownie would be played by Steve Buscemi. There's certainly a resemblance, and again, he could show Brownie's incompetence and craziness. Perfect match.
Nagin would be played well by Dave Chappelle. Both are racist, and both have to be smoking something.
Aaron Broussard could best be portrayed by Jon Favreau. Both are chunky, and I'm sure Favs can fake some tears, too.
Mary Landrieu would be played by Paris Hilton - both are dumb, west-coast, liberal elite bimbos. They really couldn't be more compatible.
Haley Barbour would be portrayed by Brian Dennehy. Similar appearance, and I'm hoping Dennehy could act like he was a real American (a conservative) and not just another member of the west-coast, liberal elite.
David Vitter would be played by Arnold Schwarzenegger - bold, brave, and conservative. Both are also Republican politicians. Perfect match.
The evacuees should be played by the DSCC, DCCC, and the America-haters at democraticunderground.com. What do all of these people have in common? They hate America and always sit around with their hands out.
And, to throw an extra one in - General Honore would be played by Will Smith, and he'd have some ass-kicking theme when he comes in.
The main theme song would be written and performed by Toby Keith, and would discuss boots up asses; star-spangled boots, at that.
Jack, as always, thank you for your question. I really enjoyed this one, and I hope you enjoy the answers.
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 7:37 PM
2 Comments:
very good answers to my question, Teddy. Very good....let me evaluate.
When I first thought of this question, I was thinking of good lookalikes. I personally would have seen W. played by the guy from "That's My Bush" or maybe Dana Carvey (we should bring back Garth--too bad he was stuck acting in that crap movie "Master of Disguise"). I don't think Bush would play himself unless the film was directed by Oliver Stone and they used archived newscasts.
Roseanne Barr for Blanco is very interesting and one I didn't think of. I can see an actress known for being very "bitchy" as suitable for the part, like Candace Bergen or Patricia Heaton, but Roseanne was something I didn't expect, but that choice is great.
I can see Nagin being played by Chapelle or another pro-black actor whose speaking skills aren't good, like Chris Rock or a Wayans brother.
Although your choices for the Louisiana senators are very funny. I can't picture Paris Hilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger standing together. Of course, Paris Hilton would have to practice "twitching her lip" like Landrieu did on TV (my family spent a lot of time laughing at Mary Landrieu when she was on TV right after her facelift and she was obviously in pain). Also, Louisiana electing a Austrian bodybuilder as a senator--very ironic, especially after an Indian was not chosen as governor because he was an Indian.
Toby Keith's song--nice. How about the "Battle of New Orleans" parody written about Katrina? Also funny and satrical.
Nice choices. God speed.
Jack X
Paris Hilton would do a great job portraying the idiocy of liberals such as Landrieu (there's no one more flamingly liberal than Mary Landrieu). Governor Schwarzenegger would show the bravery and courage of David Vitter. It's win-win.
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
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