Back in the Friendly Skies
Dear Readers,
Tomorrow, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., will be flying once again. To aid Homeland Security, I plan to make their job as easy as possible. By the time I pass through security, I plan to have stripped down to my tighty red, blue, and whities, with only my star-spangled loincloth and my red, white, and blue snakeskin boots in my possession (I'll pass the boots through the x-ray machine, of course). I hope other true patriots will do the same.
Now, the west-coast, liberal elite civil libertarians want to say that such invasive security procedures violate the 5th and 14th amendments. I say hogwash. If you haven't done anything wrong, you won't have anything to worry about, right? It's ridiculous to suggest that civil liberties can be eroded one at a time by this thinking. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., will take freedom over civil liberty any day!
I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who opined, "He who will sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither; instead, they deserve both, and he who will sacrifice security for liberty deserves a boot up the ass." Powerful words, and they ring as true today as they did back in Franklin's day.
Civil liberties huggers, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Tomorrow, I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., will be flying once again. To aid Homeland Security, I plan to make their job as easy as possible. By the time I pass through security, I plan to have stripped down to my tighty red, blue, and whities, with only my star-spangled loincloth and my red, white, and blue snakeskin boots in my possession (I'll pass the boots through the x-ray machine, of course). I hope other true patriots will do the same.
Now, the west-coast, liberal elite civil libertarians want to say that such invasive security procedures violate the 5th and 14th amendments. I say hogwash. If you haven't done anything wrong, you won't have anything to worry about, right? It's ridiculous to suggest that civil liberties can be eroded one at a time by this thinking. I, Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., will take freedom over civil liberty any day!
I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who opined, "He who will sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither; instead, they deserve both, and he who will sacrifice security for liberty deserves a boot up the ass." Powerful words, and they ring as true today as they did back in Franklin's day.
Civil liberties huggers, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 11:05 PM
4 Comments:
Cool, you're talking about the real Father of this country!!!! I'd take Ben Franklin over George Washington anyday, even though Washington was a great man.
Washington made this country by his work on the battlefield, while Franklin pursued west-coast, liberal elite, intellectual pursuits. Why do you hate our military?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
I don't hate our military. It's the best in the world right now, partially because of the work done by Nixon and, as many people forget, Donald Rumsfeld. I am just saying that Franklin was a great man in terms of philosophical quotes and all. I also like Thomas Jefferson--he invented so much stuff and brought some great stuff to America, such as waffles and dumbwaiters and wigs, not to mention his beloved Monticello. Washington was great--a great general and easily one of the best presidents of this country.
Quotes are nice, but it's the military that spreads democracy. Don't forget that.
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
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