Thursdays with Theodore, Episode 6/21/07
Dear Readers,
Welcome to this week's episode of "Thursdays with Theodore!" Off to the mail bag . . .
Mary Lou writes:
Dear Mr. Trumblebunks, I, Esq.,
I'm getting married later this month. Any suggestions for a band for the reunion?
~~Mary Lou
Mary Lou, thanks for taking the time to write. If you can't get Toby Keith, I highly recommend these guys:
Enjoy the ceremony, and remember to honor and obey your husband like the Bible demands!
Jack X writes:
Between last year and this year, KFC seemed to improve the Famous Bowl by adding cream gravy and a biscuit. Assuming they take it off for the fall to improve it for the summer of 2008, what should they add to it to make it even better than it is now?
Jack X
Jack X, this one's easy - fried pork chops.
Jack X also writes:
Ok, I have a second question...
As you probably remember, "The Price is Right" (one of my favorite shows) ended its 35th season with Bob Barker's last show this past Friday, and he has said he wanted Rosie O'Donnell as a possible replacement for him. What do you think of this?
I'll tell you my opinion (of course, you probably know what I think) after you respond.
Jack X
Jack X, this is a brilliant and shrewd move by Barker. By putting some big gay slob on the show, it will only enhance his legacy. He might be old and potentially guilty of years of sexual harassment, but the gears are still turning up in that dome of his!
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Welcome to this week's episode of "Thursdays with Theodore!" Off to the mail bag . . .
Mary Lou writes:
Dear Mr. Trumblebunks, I, Esq.,
I'm getting married later this month. Any suggestions for a band for the reunion?
~~Mary Lou
Mary Lou, thanks for taking the time to write. If you can't get Toby Keith, I highly recommend these guys:
Enjoy the ceremony, and remember to honor and obey your husband like the Bible demands!
Jack X writes:
Between last year and this year, KFC seemed to improve the Famous Bowl by adding cream gravy and a biscuit. Assuming they take it off for the fall to improve it for the summer of 2008, what should they add to it to make it even better than it is now?
Jack X
Jack X, this one's easy - fried pork chops.
Jack X also writes:
Ok, I have a second question...
As you probably remember, "The Price is Right" (one of my favorite shows) ended its 35th season with Bob Barker's last show this past Friday, and he has said he wanted Rosie O'Donnell as a possible replacement for him. What do you think of this?
I'll tell you my opinion (of course, you probably know what I think) after you respond.
Jack X
Jack X, this is a brilliant and shrewd move by Barker. By putting some big gay slob on the show, it will only enhance his legacy. He might be old and potentially guilty of years of sexual harassment, but the gears are still turning up in that dome of his!
Dear readers, thank you for loving America!
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Labels: Bible, Bob Barker, Famous Bowls, Final Countdown, Rosie O'Donnell, The Price is Right, Thursdays with Theodore, Weddings
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 8:09 PM
1 Comments:
Ok, I see two alternatives to the Price is Right legacy: either end the show with Bob Barker--bury the show with him, letting it live vicariously through DVD releases and reruns on GSN or other, more responsible, TV networks or have it be run into the ground.
If Barker wants to preserve his legacy, than choose loud Rosie, big Sally, but if he wants the show to go on without him (granted, even the best game show host out there has tough shoes to fill) and have 35 more good years, he should choose a respectable host.
Rosie O'Donnell has never hosted a game show (thank God), and she supports the stupidest things (I'm not even talking political views here), such as crappy Nickeledeon movies and Elmo the muppet (who killed "Sesame Street" with his ubiquitiousness). Notice how K-Mart took a nosedive when she started commercials for them (are there even K-Marts anymore)? Also, without her presence in "A League of Her Own," that movie would have been great cinema, possibly earning spots in Top Movies of the 1990s (it's still a good movie, but without Rosie, probably better). As you probably remember, Barker pushed animal rights in his later years of the show, but compared to what Rosie has the potential to do, it would be tame in comparison. Saying "Have you pets spayed or neutered" and banning furs from being given away and having a pet up for adoption every week is rather tame. Rosie would probably deny a gun advocate or anti-gay rights or pro-Bush/McCain or other Republican the right to play a game and would probably say something like "vote Hillary" at the end of her shows or "abolish the NRA." Also, the demographics of the show would change from college students and old people to fat, loud, obnoxious gay people. It would sort of be like "Family Feud" under Louie Anderson--still, with two better hosts succeeding him, the contestants are loud and annoying instead of fun, like it was under the Richard Dawson/Ray Combs years, and it's accompanied by shitty, crappy disco music as the theme instead of the banjo theme of old (which actually begun as a car cue on "Price is Right"). Rosie would defame an American institution and slap fat, loud, and ugly on its face. It'd be like putting two large balls on the sides of the Washington Monument (if you get my hint) or putting graffiti on the Lincoln or Jefferson Memorials. I could use more analogies, but I think I better stop here.
In short, Rosie O'Donnell to succeed Bob Barker would cause me to turn off CBS during the days.
Jack X
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