You Tell 'Em, Rush!
Dear Readers,
It will come as no shock to you that one of my personal heroes is Rush Limbaugh, the master of truth and smackin' down liberals. Aside from always being factually accurate and never being hypocritical at all, he also routinely suggests ways for us to save our country and provides methods to accomplish this. This week, he came up with just such a gem:
"I want a list about sexual preferences, too, and I want a list for every liberal in the House of Representatives. And it's very simple. Do you prefer the missionary style, or do you want the woman on top? And I'll tell you why I ask. Because missionary is active male. Woman on top is passive male, and we're at war, and we need active males. We need alpha males. We don't need a bunch of passive people directing our war effort. We need active males. What is your preference, liberal Democrats? I want a list."
What could be more vital to our national security than the preferred sexual positions of Democratic Representatives? And I'm also glad that Rush doesn't consider that female on top could show an active female; no, only active males can provide real leadership. Everyone knows that Americans invented and perfected the missionary position, and anything else is unAmerican and - to be more frank - just no fun. Men: if you dislike the missionary position, you hate America and, subsequently, want to coddle the terrorists.
Men who prefer woman on top, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
It will come as no shock to you that one of my personal heroes is Rush Limbaugh, the master of truth and smackin' down liberals. Aside from always being factually accurate and never being hypocritical at all, he also routinely suggests ways for us to save our country and provides methods to accomplish this. This week, he came up with just such a gem:
"I want a list about sexual preferences, too, and I want a list for every liberal in the House of Representatives. And it's very simple. Do you prefer the missionary style, or do you want the woman on top? And I'll tell you why I ask. Because missionary is active male. Woman on top is passive male, and we're at war, and we need active males. We need alpha males. We don't need a bunch of passive people directing our war effort. We need active males. What is your preference, liberal Democrats? I want a list."
What could be more vital to our national security than the preferred sexual positions of Democratic Representatives? And I'm also glad that Rush doesn't consider that female on top could show an active female; no, only active males can provide real leadership. Everyone knows that Americans invented and perfected the missionary position, and anything else is unAmerican and - to be more frank - just no fun. Men: if you dislike the missionary position, you hate America and, subsequently, want to coddle the terrorists.
Men who prefer woman on top, why do you hate America?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
posted by Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. at 11:41 PM
3 Comments:
I'm originally from Canada and most of the time we did it doggie style so we could both watch the hockey game. Is there anything Alpha about that?
JB
I would have to say doggie style still shows an alpha male. It still requires aggressivess from the male, and his control of the situation.
However, missionary is the style America invented and perfected, and if real mean love America, they'll choose missionary. Plus, I think missionary is the preferred way mentioned in the Bible, and we all know it's the only fun way to do things.
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
Now that I've had more time to think about it, the term "doggie style" reeks of bestiality. So, we're going to refer to it as "man on top, from behind" instead.
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.
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